Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
