farters have to be the big spoon...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
