it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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