you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
