my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
