Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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