Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
