The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
