I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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