Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
