sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
