HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
