Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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