..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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