Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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