Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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