theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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