we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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