Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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