I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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