i just google imaged poop.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
