You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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