Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
