garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
