I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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