I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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