Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
