We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
