we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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