On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
