I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
40s are totally the cure
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
