Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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