I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
