I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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