So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
This baby is an asshole
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
