can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
