So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
