I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
