I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
either way he was missing a nipple.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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