You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
