there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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