Don't you send me to vm
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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