remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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