She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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