my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
