i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
