this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
