He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
