We're facebook friends in real life
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
