i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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