She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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