found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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