So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
