do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
