This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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