just tell him i said nine months
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
